A lot has happened since my last update and on reading what I previously wrote, well; you could say I’m an unpredictable twat. I think that is definitely the title some people gave me as I spent weeks debating over what my next move would be. Eventually, I made up my mind and I went back to England for a while, not really knowing what my future plans would entail. Yet 5 weeks later I found myself back in Hanoi. Ha! I knew I’d be back…I just wasn’t sure when!
Being back in England was an experience to say the least. Overall, it was wonderful. I’d missed so many people and so many things when living in Hanoi. I certainly made the most of my time there and I’m really glad I went back when I did. I could have spent the money I got (tax rebate FTW!) on travelling to other countries but at that point I needed to just touch base and reconnect with people. Whilst there I managed to gather up my thoughts, explore new feelings and deal with experiences I hadn’t come across before. Some of it was difficult but everything happens for a reason and if anything I now feel more solid being back in Hanoi. I do miss my friends and I do miss my family but I'm also aware that I miss a lot of memories and they're memories for a reason. A week before I came out to Hanoi in February my dad admitted to having an affair. The news, to say the least, was a slap in the face. I was already dealing with having to pack up and leave the UK. I was also in a relationship with a man I was in love with and we were coming to terms that we weren’t going to be together anymore. Being told my dad was leaving was the cherry on the cake but at the same time I knew that I had to hold it together and just carry on as I knew that my mum and sister would be devastated. So, my first few months in Hanoi were very up and down. I was discovering so much about myself, making new friends, discovering culture and having a lot of fun but at the time same I just couldn’t stop worrying about life back in London. Both my parents had breakdowns and were put on anti-depressants. My mum lost a load of weight, which really worried me as she has suffered from anorexia before. When speaking to my mum, who I had the most contact with; I was being made to feel like she was capable of doing the worst to herself. My younger sister would constantly reassure me that it was pointless going home but when you’re the oldest sibling, you can’t help but feel responsible for the others and I hated the thought that my brother and sister were having to deal with everything alone. So, I went back to the UK in September and stayed for 5 weeks. Like I said, I had some amazing times being home and I really don’t regret going back when I did. However, I had to deal with a lot of new feelings and a completely new situation. Life at home has changed and despite the situation with my family, being away from home has made me notice changes in life a lot more. When you stay in the same place you often fail to recognise life developing around you. Life is just a series of events happening from day to day but when you’re away and out of touch from something you once knew, you recognise how different things are when you do touch base again.
Wow, I only meant to add a few sentences about London life and I seem to have written an essay!
So, anyway, now I’m back in Hanoi I hope to see some people out here visiting me this time! Two of my closest friends are coming out to visit me in January. EPIC!! We’re currently planning our trip to paradise. My dreams of being on a white sand beach on my birthday are becoming all the more real! Joy of joys!
When I came back to Hanoi I took a slightly different approach as I had no job or home to walk in to this time so I had to set up shop as soon as I hit the ground. Fortunately I had friends wanting to move house so I grouped up with them and we have now found ourselves a lovely house with cats and hippies and all things wonderful. Freshly decked with fairy lights and splattered with happy. Yum! However, not everything comes in perfect doses and the location certainly has its flaws. For example, we’re currently living in a building site so as you step out our gate you’re greeted with huge drills, piles of rubble, dismantled pathways and the smell of piss from the builders living on site who have no toilet to use. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what a treat! Welcome back to Asia!
In fairness, the builders are quite friendly. They’re not from Hanoi, but from the countryside, which explains why they all stay on site. Staying on site is a very common thing in Vietnam. There’s no bacon butties and cups of tea for breakfast here…knocking off early to get down the pub…these guys live, work and breathe crumpled concrete…and so do we at the moment. The biggest headache is the drilling…the CONSTANT drilling, which they love to start at 7am. Anyone who knows me well enough will know I’m not a pretty head when I wake up and I haven’t been sleeping well recently anyway so having an alarm clock of rattling walls and hammers….yes.
ANYWAY! RANT OVER!
I’ve currently got a little kitten sat at my feet. I’ve named her Bo and she is the last of 4 to go. What a rhyme. I’m so delicate with time. I’m doing a lot of those recently…perhaps with the outcome of starting a band in the near future but I’ll leave that set of words for a different day.
In terms of jobs, I have some! I’m working a few part time jobs, all teaching of course but I’m now teaching drama for Helen O’Grady, which is ace! Teaching is great but it is all the more rewarding when you’re teaching something you love. However, it can be quite challenging. The level I’m teaching is young kids so far (in fact all my jobs are that age…) so I’m spending most of my time shouting out vocab on colours, stationary and the alphabet, whilst dancing around like a chimpanzee on a trampoline. It can be quite liberating but there are times when I’d rather be testing my brain. Due to teaching said age range, it seems that when I do finally socialize with adults I tend to waffle on about my ideas for creating an epic world of (realistic) delusion and adventure. Or, I’ll converse simply in rhyme.
I’ve been doing a lot of amazing things since being back in Hanoi but for now here are some photos of things to bring your eyes up to date with my heart.
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